Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Still

Round two of antibiotics with steroid

sprinkles on top!

And still coughing.

Steroids make me absent minded.

Add a crazy, run everywhere mom of five,

and MS (which makes absent minded!)

to a steroid,

and you get a level of chaos that

I'm not really OK with!

Who knew sleep was a privilege, not a right?

Monday, April 14, 2014

Another First!

Babycakes started his first unit study this week!

He's crazy about big construction trucks

so we've been reading Machines at Work

on a daily,

sometimes hourly basis.
We've stopped at a few construction sites

and incorporated the theme into our sensory tub time!

SO much fun!

Friday, April 11, 2014

Date Night

My girls took me on a date tonight!

Ok, I did the taking,

but they did the choosing.

They really wanted to see Divergent

so we abandoned the boys

and headed out for a date!

Dinner and a movie

and a really nice time to chat.

I loved having time with just the three of us

to laugh

and chat

and they didn't even care that I

coughed my way through the night!

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Lots

I have lots of lovely pictures of our

zoo trip,

and the history fair,

and all the fun stuff we've been doing,

and I'd love to be putting them up here

for you to see,

but I also have bronchitis

and I'm exhausted,

so I'll get to them later!

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Nothing to do but laugh!

"Do you do something to his hair to make it curl.

or does it just to that by itself?"


Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Home.

Home!

I'm so glad to be home!

I've had time to reflect on everything we saw

and heard

and did

on our long drive home,

and how hard it was to see.

It's hard for me to walk the tightrope between

what it OK to share publicly,

and what is private business.

Seeing how Baby Brother lives

was incredibly hard.

I can't stop myself from comparing his current life

to the one he could have had.

I'm not talking material possessions,

but affection, security, consistency,

even nutrition and health care.

Honestly, it makes me sob.

At the same time, there is absolutely nothing,

 nothing,

I can do to change things.

It's such a helpless feeling.

So I guess I keep praying,

and hope somehow God can find a way

to make a better life for this little guy.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Day Three in Texas

We went to the beach today.

We'd actually decided not to go,

and at the last second went anyway.

I think God knew we needed to go.

And it was wonderful!

The sky was clear, the water not too cold

and the beach nearly empty.

Babycakes LOVED it!
It was such a joy to see him run and play in the waves.

It helped me refocus my thoughts away from

Baby Brother and all the things about that situation

that I can't change, and onto the things I can.

The big kids had fun too,

and we all got soaked and covered in sand.

We stopped at mama E's to say goodbye on our way out of town,

and to drop of the pictures we'd gotten done while we were here.

I'm sad that Big Brother couldn't be there for them,

but seeing Mama E smiling and holding her boys is amazing.

I'm so glad we get to do those when we come!

Yes, I'm still sad about the situation with Baby Brother.

It's so incomprehensible to me to see him living as he does,

and not be able to make it better.

I also know there is truly nothing that I can do to change things,

so I really need to let it go.

I'm praying God can make that happen.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Day Two in Texas

Big Brother was not available again.

His dad says he's sick,

but I'm wondering if he just

doesn't trust us with him?

Either way, we got brother pictures done

with only two of the brothers.
Then we headed to a pizza place for some fun.

Mama E had a ball

and so did Mac!

That boy drove bumper cars

until I worried his head would fall off

and roll across the floor!
Mimi played with the baby all afternoon.

After we dropped them off,

Mimi and I had a long chat about the baby

and his life

and how sad it is.

She's an amazing kid with a giant heart for babies,

and it hurts her heart like it does mine.

I reminded her about the baby in her life she

does get to influence; her nanny baby,

and we prayed for Baby Brother together.

We're heading to the beach tomorrow,

and I'm really looking forward to a bit of vacation

on this trip!

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Day One in Texas

We started our day too early for me!

No leisurely snooze for my toddler,

nope, we were up and running at dawn!

We had big plans for the day, but not starting THAT early!

And all my plans flew out the window, first thing.

We wanted to get another round of brother pictures taken.

We did this last year, and both Babycakes

and I are crazy about looking at those pictures!

Unfortunately, Big Brother was on a field trip

with his preschool class,

so we'd need to postpone our photo appointment until tomorrow.

We ended up hanging out at mama Es place for the morning,

and I got to meet the friend that watches the baby for her.

At lunch we headed to Chick Fil A for lunch

and stayed for several hours while the kids played.

Baby cakes desperately needed a nap, as did baby brother,

so I suggested we drop her at home and come back after,

but Mama E wanted to stay with us,

so we hung out in the lobby

while the boys slept.

She wished she had her swimsuit because the hot tub looked inviting.

Babycakes spent the rest of the day saying "Hot tub?".

We ended up having a nice long chat,

and both Mimi and I got to love on the baby.

Not only is the poor guy recovering from major surgery,

but he decided this week would be the perfect time to cut teeth!

He was decidedly grumpy about it, unless he had some ice to chomp on!

We shared a lovely dinner, but both little ones

and both mamas were worn out, and we called it a day.

We returned to our rooms, thew on our swimsuits

only to discover the hot tub was barely lukewarm!

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Yes, THAT Long.

It's hard for me to know just how much to share about our

trips to see Mama E and the brothers.

I'd love it if we had

one of those wonderful

sweet, cuddly relationships

you read about when you're

looking into open adoptions.

But it's not.

And I still need to walk the tightrope

between keeping private things

private

and wanting to shout to the world

all the crazy chaos that I witness.

We have arrived.

The drive was everything you can expect for a

trip that is two days of driving

with five kids

one of them a two year old,

while alternating between

listening to the Wiggles and Thomas the Tank Engine,

and "Are we almost there now?"

It was very.......very.......very.........long.

Stuck in a time warp long.

I'm never doing this again long.

Get the picture?

PS-
Toddler breakfast:
 "build it....build it....build it..."
 "Done!"

"Good job!  Do you want to eat it?"

"Nope!"